Get On With It

These are the words i try to muster into my everyday life now. Shit happens. Get over it. im fairly happy with life atm. Still with hayley thats always a good one :)
School works slowly catching up. Still short of money but i applyed for a few jobs and im learning to spend it wiser so its not going TOO bad ya know. Easter soon and looking forward to it. gonna have some good days with hayley me thinks and hopefully some good days with a few pals. Maybe catch up with one or two people ive not seen for a while. got shaun coming round otmorrow so thats one person to catch up with. Might be going gordons for a couple days suring the holidays and im looking forward to it. im off to finish my work now just thought id blog as people kept pestering me i hadnt updated it lol. I really had no idea people actually read mine haha (wilson)
Seinara blooogggg
Hayley x

Amazing

thats all i can say about today. So many laughs. Went psychology and actually did well for once. Hayley came round after school and we had so much fun. She really wore me out haha. We watched 2 dvd's. Well half watched and they was pretty lolz. Im so glad I have my baby back in my life properly <3 xxx

Psychology ...

is so boring. sitting in ICT with brenno doing fuck all. Texting hayley and wishing the school day would be over. Im starting to feel pretty stressed and its making me ill. All added up ts making me a bit down. However I have hayley and my friends so i know ill make it through. I think its time to even life up a bit. give what i get ya know. I work far to hard in my head but maybe its not on the right things. Maybe if i just calmed down and didnt put so much into other things i would be able to focus more on my school work. Social lifes a lil weird atm. dont really see my friends a huge amount as i used to and im missing them a lot. I got hayley so its nice to see her, we usually have an alright time and a laugh doing pretty much fuck all lol. Hope she comes round tonight if not just another boring night in. Brenno stayed last night we watched a dvd and went bed. Didnt get to sleep until 3 however :/
Im starting to come under things. Need to focus.

Getting My facts Straight

So ... What happened today you ask? Well hayley came round and it was pretty lolz. Im not gonna say on here but she now loves ps3 controllers lol. Was a pretty nice day lots of dvd's kissing cuddling, food, drink and my baby all i need for the perfect day really. Really nice sunday afternoon in to be honest. Swear im falling for her more everyday. Thinking of getting the band kicked off soon. Need a job gonna apply for some next week gonna print cvs off at school. Got english essay to do tomorrow last chance. Need money well bad. Got like £13 to last me next week. Gonna go school everyday so i get my EMA so dont have to pester dad so much and hopefully start paying him back. also need to find a new monitor soon or im fucked. Im off to bed. Good night.
Seinara xxx
<3 Hayley <3 xxx

Oh Hai Life

Amazing news! I am finally back with Rafter <3 Im so over the moon about it. We got together yesterday 12th of march and i was so overjoyed when she sent me that relationship request :)
Had a pretty hectic night with the whole conor trying to come round thing when only brendan was invited and loads of arguing and shizzle. Ran away from home for a couple hour or t2 to avoid them but they found me and we sorta talked it out a bit. Managed to convince conor to amke arrangements to go to his nans and me and brendan went back to mine and had a blast.
Althought things are getting better, I know as soon as something gets better theres always some shit to tag along. I pretty much failed my exams :/
Psychology - U
Critical Thinking - D
ICT - E
Pretty shit grades to be honest. I need to work harder and im hoping now i have hayley back ill be more motivated to do so. I feel guilty as my dad is having to pay for my retakes soon and yet he's trying to pay for the television license. Hopefully we can get freeview soon and that should save some money for us. Im on T-mobile now and get unlimited texts for £10 a month pay as you go so thats pretty good. Might have found a way to make my internet cheaper as well. Thats always good. Finally setup cubase properly and my computer how i want it so am gonna start recording some tunes again soon :)
Still in debt to dad but im gonna make sure i go into school without fail so i get my EMA to help pay him off as were short of money atm. Still smoking as ya do, been a fair few months now but i still feel not to bad.
Need a job and to get more work done. Got the my beautiful girlfriend who im so happy and in love with. Things arnt to bad atm. Still on my pills but that dont matter.
Rearranged my room today and it looks immense I love it. Just chill in bed and watch my big tv gonna be good times. Wana get final fantasy 13 soon as its just come out and i love it so much. Oh and the expansion to DOW2, DOW2 Chaos Rising. Seems good so have to have a look at that :)
As for now, im off,
Seinara! xxx
Hayley Rafter I love you <3 xxx

Lonely Feeling

You know, despite things looking up and everything being okay with hayley. Im not with her yet. And i feel a bit alone. Hope we can be together soon.
Hayley Rafter <3

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh, god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home sitting all alone inside your head

How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget.. you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes
Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
When thought came from the heart
It never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(Null and void instead of voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just different from what you've seen

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That shine for you
And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That lie to you.. yeah-ah

I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh, god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your heaaaaddd

And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That shine for you.. yeah-ah
And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That lie to you.. yeah-ah

And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That shine for you.. yeah-ah
And it's the starrrssss
The sttarrrsss
That lie to you.. yeah-ah yeah

Ohhhoh when the starrs
Ohhh oh when the starrrrs that liieee

Not Been Here For A While

So ... hey blog. you been okay? Howz the kids? Ahh fair. Well nice to see youve been okay. As for me?
Ive been down and up but atm im actually amazing tbh. Married to hayley on fb again made my day. Me and her have been doing quite well actually, got a few lil plans sorted and that ya know. I think were bonding better. Was sad to hear that brendy and hazey broke up bless em. Ahh well im just hoping my relationships stays looking up and me and her get back together soon. Im off now so sleepy, will start blogging more promise x
Seinara! I LOVE HAYLEY MOTHER FUCKIN RAFTER!!! <3<3<3 xxxxxxx

First Of Ze Month Biatches!

Its now march. Got good hopes for this month tbh. Saving money in the sense of i now am on a special t-mobile deal that gives me unlimited texts for just £10 a month not on contract. Now i can keep int ouch with everyone, just gotta get a better phone now but thats the least of my worrys. Got lots of things to do. hoping to geta new flatscreen off brendan. got my new speakers and subwoofer off gabs still owe him the cash. Gotta give conor buntu on ps3 so i dont owe him a tenner and pay back simon £45. Still owe dad £170 but slowly getting rid of it. Hoping to get my EMA this weeka nd knock it down too £140. Slowly fixing things with hayley i think. Just gonna roll with this month and stand my ground.
Seinara! night <3 x

Getting Ready

Im preparing ya know. Im slowly becoming me more and i can feel it. Pushover, ha no way. Starting to think more like my old self again. Same mind set and i like it. Better than that depressed shizzle i used tot hink about. I mean dont get me wrong im an emotional guy ill admit but ive always been able to control myself. Past few months have been ... hectic to say the least. Im not putting up with shit from anyone anymore. You got a problem talk i out with me you dont like my decision and you want to leave then thats your choice im sure a lot of people will tell you your missing out on something potentially great. I know how this reads it sounds like its about hayley but its not. Its about anyone who dont wana respect how i am now and what im actually like. Still just friends with rafter but we love eachother and I know that. Not 100% sure how sh feels about that as she might believe i dont love her I dont know but I know i do. Things between us have been okay so far. Few lil bumps but nothing I cant handle. Fed up of chasing people and losing my breath. Winds me up you know. Not good to be so stressed so young. People run. Wait for them to come back. I mean follow but dont wear yourself over it coz if they want to get away that badly then respect that. Dont hold people, as they say if you really love someone let them go. So im happy for whatever happens between me and hayley as long as shes happy. Ill be heartbroken if she left me permenantly but she will be happy so thats all that matters and eventually i will probably be able to move on. Wont be quick though as i really love her. People tell me to just leave it and i they dont know what i see in her but they aint me, so they dont see what i see. In hayley i see a lot. And its one of the most amazing things ive seen yet. I love her and hope she comes back to me. Im cleaning up my act a bit even if people dont think it yet. Its all about the past. Yeh i admit pasts been shitty. Futures gonna be good and im gonna make it good. So lets hope for some brighter posts soon shall we :)
Seinara bloggerzzz <3
Hayley Rafter I love you like I love food! <3
(Feel special thats a lot ;))