Getting Ready

Im preparing ya know. Im slowly becoming me more and i can feel it. Pushover, ha no way. Starting to think more like my old self again. Same mind set and i like it. Better than that depressed shizzle i used tot hink about. I mean dont get me wrong im an emotional guy ill admit but ive always been able to control myself. Past few months have been ... hectic to say the least. Im not putting up with shit from anyone anymore. You got a problem talk i out with me you dont like my decision and you want to leave then thats your choice im sure a lot of people will tell you your missing out on something potentially great. I know how this reads it sounds like its about hayley but its not. Its about anyone who dont wana respect how i am now and what im actually like. Still just friends with rafter but we love eachother and I know that. Not 100% sure how sh feels about that as she might believe i dont love her I dont know but I know i do. Things between us have been okay so far. Few lil bumps but nothing I cant handle. Fed up of chasing people and losing my breath. Winds me up you know. Not good to be so stressed so young. People run. Wait for them to come back. I mean follow but dont wear yourself over it coz if they want to get away that badly then respect that. Dont hold people, as they say if you really love someone let them go. So im happy for whatever happens between me and hayley as long as shes happy. Ill be heartbroken if she left me permenantly but she will be happy so thats all that matters and eventually i will probably be able to move on. Wont be quick though as i really love her. People tell me to just leave it and i they dont know what i see in her but they aint me, so they dont see what i see. In hayley i see a lot. And its one of the most amazing things ive seen yet. I love her and hope she comes back to me. Im cleaning up my act a bit even if people dont think it yet. Its all about the past. Yeh i admit pasts been shitty. Futures gonna be good and im gonna make it good. So lets hope for some brighter posts soon shall we :)
Seinara bloggerzzz <3
Hayley Rafter I love you like I love food! <3
(Feel special thats a lot ;))