Well I sit here at approximately 2:13 this very second as i start writing. Its the morning and im not tired. Im having trouble sleeping nowadays i think its due to the stress but im hoping my happy go lucky attitude im bringing in will help ease this.So whats my personal opinion of the first day?. I think im feeling a little bit happier in myself now that I have some guidelines and hope for a better future. im just hopeing this upbeatness in attitude lasts. Ive started listening to more screamo music, I dont know why but ive started to like it even though i never used to. Maybe i was just being ignorant coz id never really payed to much attention to it before. I have however found a new band im interested in "black veil brides". Theyre sorta emo screamo but none the less the music is good and i enjoy it. Im considering starting playing guitar more in my spare time and getting my lil sort of project with gabs kicked off soon to fill in some time so i dont have so much free time to think about bad things. At this current moment im quite happy I have brenno asleep behind me he always falls asleep first and my cat on the bed. Im not hungry really stupidly fucking thirsty, neck pain and sore from all my working out. Yet still in a odd lil way happy :)
I said good night to rafter earlier and was pleased to geta i love you back and a couple kisses that made me smile. The true happiness came when i looked on my facebook and saw 1 little tiny heart on my page with her name next to it. I know this may sound stupid but the second i saw that lil image happiness just flooded into me. Its a sign of hope. A sign that we may be able to sort this out and be happy together, coz tbh thats all i want I love her no doubt about it. I have however deleted all the comments and things from my facebook to the point of when me and hayley originally got together. Im going to continually do this until things between me and her are either better or over. The lil heart from her is there to stay though, just to keep my hope alive ;D x
I am now off to go chill for a bit before i go to sleep :)
Seinara Gangstaz :) Joshua Lewis Ginger Loves hayley Rafter
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