The Day Of Reborn - The Verdict

Well here we are. Ive been thinking about my situation all day getting down about everything and then getting high again. Ive decided the thoughts ive had in the past are wrong and arnt gonna happen (much to brendan and hazels pleasure >.<). Ive been thinking of how im gonna fix my life and hopefully slowly cheer myself up. Its gonna be hard coz lifes full of little disappointments such as today brendan couldnt come round to see me because of the snow. Even though life does have its downs I think im gonna live for the ups, for example brendan couldnt come round but now brenno's staying over. I think its to do with karma and the balance tbh. Im hoping karma will pickup for me as i know ive done some bad things in the past but surely ive suffered enough already. I keep thinking about fate and how it is real to an extent. Ive decided even though i thought my fate was just to be unhappy forever im gonna try and change that.
Few things i think i need to doto start being happy:
Im in like constant desperate need of money so im gonna start job hunting properly now, also ive changed my new years resolution from stop smoking (as ive already failed) to stop borrowing money. Every bit i owe now im gonna pay back. Even hayleys stupid 50 p lol
I need to spend a lil more time and effort on my appearence to help my low self esteem. Im gonna get my lip pierced and start with a 10mm in my left ear i hope it looks good. Ive also thought about changing my style of clothes a bit again. I also wana buy another one of my amazing hat coz i felt better wearing that :)
I need to focus more in school and get my work done. I have no ambition for school and i dont know what I want to be when im older but ive decided ive got to make my grades so i can actually have a choice of being what i want when im older. Maye ill decide before i go uni
The thing that means the most to though is a strong stable relationship. I have an amazing girlfriend and i love her to bits. Were going througha lot at the moment but im praying we get through coz i care for her a lot. If however she does dump me ... ive decided to take a break from girls and become selibate. Its a 50/50 chance could go either way. Or maybe fate has already decided the outcome and i just dont know it yet, its one of the things ive been thinking about.
All in all im hoping to perhaps do some of these things and im thinking of setting myself some targets to help me achieve the overall objectives. Im gonna go have a think. Ill probably post again before I go to bed :)

Seinara bitches!
Hayley Rafter ily <3