That Dream

Lifes not simple. no one ever said it was. Yet people wish it was. It cant be its just the way life is. My life is even though i will admit i have a home and most of the necessity's in life should we say simple. its rather complicated but this is a mainly due to my personality and what i believe to be m,y intellect. or im just rather crazy. Probably a bit of both as you know wall the smartest people have been crazy. But yes i talk of my intellect not in a boastful way but more as a natural state of mind for me. Its runs through and makes things that are rather hard to comprehend. its why im rather hard to understand and very few people can. In my life there has been few aspirations to what i want. Some people are driven by many things. I am driven by one thing that is rather rare. therefore at arather disadvante as i have less and harder needs to satisfy. I have chosen the thing that i believe to be rarest and most beautiful in this world. well i say choose yet i did nt choose its me. its my personality. its how i feel. what i know i need. People ridicule me for it. but if only they knew the depth of my feelings but they are should we say easy to convey to other people. I have what seems to be an okay life to the outside world yet they dont understand what truely lies within. i donot wish to explain either its far to much for them to understand. Either that or im just crazy. I notice that as i analyze certain things i sort of trance but as i lose my mind focus my attention shifts to other hthings and i lose what i believe to be my peak intellect. I dont harness my intellect for things such as school work as my main usage is gaining my lifes desire. but as im trying to capture the hardest thing to come by in this world its is rather hard. I dont know how long this is going to take but the path im treading at the moment i think will lead me astray in certain ways. Either to a dead end back to him or worse. im not sure. But as i said times running out. time is of the essence ....